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A Resolution of sorts {finding purpose}

It seems I took a longer blogging break than I anticipated. We had the most fabulous break needless to say. Having the kiddos and the Mr (mostly) home with me for even a bit thoroughly did this mama some good. If you have been around awhile you know the last few years I have picked a word that I dwell on and try to encompass in every way over a years span. In years past I have used simplicity twice and gratitude. This year I find "PURPOSE" being a good word. I must admit once both kiddos went to school I have been a bit at a loss. I have been exercising many of my creative outlets with the shop, photography, decorating, and I could go on and on, but not a one feels like a solid foundation. I feel scattered. I married a couple a months out of college, became pregnant 3 months later and ever since have found my identity in being a mother. It is who I am and what I enjoy even though I may not be the best at it. I look at both Ellie and KJ and am astonished that God entrusted me with them, the two most amazing beings. I also am well aware that I am still one and will forever be, but my role is changing. Although I am still a main character in their lives I have become one of many. They are becoming their own person and I serve as more of a guide rather than their soul source. All this to say it has been hard on me even though this is the way life is suppose to go. Eleven years ago today I dedicated my life to God. I was in the darkest time of my life and He saved me. I knew then I wasn't suppose to go through life just "living", but with PURPOSE. This is the year that I find my new PURPOSE whatever that may be. To stop dabbling and what feels to me like floating which for my type personality does me no good. I feel like my mind is everywhere and I am continually missing/forgetting important things and honestly not doing life well. Even if I do find that many of my dabbling's are PURPOSE filled I want to do them well, organized, and with all my heart. I want/need to be God led. I need PURPOSE and I am determined to make it happen in this new season of life. Our church at the start of every year goes through 21 days of fasting and prayer. Lives are changed during this 21 days. This 21 days I am praying to become more aligned with God's PURPOSE for me. Join us if you like online. 2013 you shall be a good year.

Many plans are in a man’s mind, but it is the Lord’s purpose for him that will stand.

Proverbs 19:21

What word would describe this year for you? Do you have one?

*Enough for deep thoughts, tomorrow I will return with the prettiness of life.

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Reader Comments (10)

I am inspired Paula. I have actually been praying about just the same thing for my life:)

January 7, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterstephanie

I feel the same way! My youngest of four went to school this year and after marrying young, having kids right away and being a stay at home mom for 14 years, it is really hard to know who I am supposed to be and what I am supposed to be doing. I have pretty much been spending my time the same way you have. My husband mentioned something to me about finding purpose and I've been thinking about it. Just don't have it figured out yet.

January 7, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterelizabeth

Oh Paula, I relate to nearly everything you wrote. I think I need to pick "purpose" as my word too! :) (In fact, I'm regularly seeing a counselor and spending lots of time talking about this very thing!). I've decided to try blogging again, with the hope that I can figure out more of who I am and what God made me to do. Thank you for your honesty; it's an encouragement! May God bless you and encourage you as well in this season!

January 7, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAnne W

Keep praying, keep trying... I know how rootless it can feel to "dabble"-- and how you feel like you're maybe not a serious person if you're not doing a serious job. But also remember that the world needs people who bring little lights to lots of corners. It's important work, too

January 7, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterMelissa

:) I wish you the best in this endeavor! I full faith you will find what you are looking for. My dad gave me a short little message/talk/tidbit about "seasons in life" the other day. He said that we are constantly going through different seasons in life and it is important to not only realize that we don't try and hold onto the one we are moving out of if you do it just won't feel right or work...change is hard but it supposed to happen and everyone will be the better for it....even if you don't embrace it..it will still happen but it will be harder on you.....I don't know if this helps but it helped me...it wasn't even for me...it was a speech for my lil almost out of college sister ha....anyway, I'm very excited about the 21 days of prayer this year and am joining online which is not as good as in person but will have to do.

January 7, 2013 | Unregistered Commentercourtney fillebaum

We are on the same page...my word is intentional. I posted it this morning, too :) trying to do things intentionally,..with the kids, work, home life, and with my prayer life. I believe this all will give purpose. And from what I can tell from blog and Instagram, you are a fabulous mom :)

January 7, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterNatalie

I can completely relate to everything that you wrote in this post. When the kids are little and at home they are you anchor, doing things that you enjoy a bit at a time. My youngest is in first grade this year and I feel as though I'm still trying to make sense of my open days between the time they leave until they get home but it gets easier. The path becomes clear and it make life much easier. I will keep you in my prayers, much love!

January 8, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSarah's Fab Day

What a great post! Very thought provoking!

January 8, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterBrooke @ Blueprint Bliss

I love browsing through your blog and never comment but - thanks for sharing your insights and I wish you every success in your goals. I'm not a religious person or a Mommy for that matter but I thought your resolution was powerful and heartening. You're right - 2013 is going to be a fantastic year! Go well.

January 9, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAndrea

This year it's about this verse... "I have hidden your word in my heart that I might not sin against you." Psalm 119:11 My goal is to memorize one verse a week - to hide it in my heart so His Word is always with me. I'm adding your verse Proverbs 19:21 to my list!!

January 12, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterKat

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